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a person sitting on a stage

Mark Guerrero

Plays: Piano, Bass, Drums, Accordion, and Trash Cans 

Turn-ons:

  • Tequila (no salt, no lime)
  • Speaking Spanish
  • Wearing hats (preferably backward)
  • Dos Equis
  • Cerveza Modelo
  • Drinking Dos Equis with modelos
  • West coast rap
  • Los Angeles Lakers and Dodgers
  • Chinese food
  • Six Flags Magic Mountain
  • Smoking Hookah
  • and Vinyl records

Turn-offs: 

  • Playing in the key of B#
  • Seafood
  • Canceling plans at the last minute
  • Wearing snapback hats
  • All other coasts rap music
  • Going to clubs
  • Crappy artists on the radio (not naming any names)
  • and Ring ding ding d...SHUT UP STUPID FOX